Plan Your Own Birthday Party

Sip of the Week: One of my favorite pieces of advice came up in this conversation: only you can plan your perfect birthday, and it doesn't make it less meaningful when you do. This applies to so much more than birthdays - it's about taking ownership of what you want instead of expecting others to read your mind. Melissa shared how being clear about a $15 minimum at her birthday venue wasn't mean or demanding - it was helpful information that prevented confusion and awkwardness. When we constantly defer our preferences or play the "I don't care" game, we're actually burdening our relationships by forcing others to do all the emotional labor of decision-making. The uncomfortable truth? Sometimes being "easy" is actually harder for everyone involved- Listen Now!

Let it Brew: This episode dismantles the harmful myth that women must sacrifice their own needs to be good people. Alisha and Melissa explore how religious messaging and cultural conditioning create deep shame around self-prioritization, leading to patterns where we'd rather manage our own discomfort than risk making others slightly uncomfortable. The conversation reveals how being overly accommodating actually burdens our relationships - when we constantly defer decisions or have no preferences, we force others to do the emotional labor of always choosing. Through honest examples about marriage dynamics, parenting, and daily decision-making, they show why clarity and self-advocacy are acts of kindness that benefit everyone involved.

Post-Tea Pursuits: PRACTICE CLEAR COMMUNICATION WITHOUT APOLOGY this week

Following our conversation insights, commit to one week of honest self-advocacy using these strategies:

• When asked for your preference, actually give one - even if it's small (restaurant choice, movie selection, weekend plans)
• Practice saying "Thanks for thinking of me, I'm not interested" instead of avoiding or over-explaining when declining offers
• Set one clear boundary around phone/text accessibility - maybe no work messages after 8pm or a delayed response when you're in focused time
• Support other women when they advocate for themselves - affirm their clarity instead of judging their directness

WRITE DOWN one moment this week where choosing yourself actually made things easier for everyone involved. Notice how clarity eliminates confusion and how having preferences doesn't make you difficult - it makes you human. Remember: you can't choose yourself if you don't know yourself!