The Self-Advocacy Mindset

Sip of the Week: In this candid conversation, Annette shares how learning to self-advocate has been both a pivotal moment and a slow roll process. Her breakthrough came at 27 after a relationship where she felt like a doormat - she decided she was done pretending to like things (including football!) just to please others. The key insight? Self-advocacy requires both self-awareness and confidence, which build on each other over time. As Annette explains, "If you can't communicate those wants and needs, you're kind of just stuck." What's particularly powerful is how she differentiates between personal and professional advocacy - noting that speaking up at work, especially about salary or boundaries, took longer to develop. Her husband's support in helping her craft professional requests and her intentional effort to create safe spaces for her team to speak up shows how advocacy can be both learned and taught. Listen now!

Let it Brew: Self-advocacy isn't a switch you flip overnight—it's a muscle you build through conscious practice and sometimes painful realizations. As finance executive and mom of three Annette shared in our conversation, her journey began with the simple recognition that she was pretending to like football just to fit in with others' expectations. This moment of authentic self-awareness—admitting she genuinely didn't care about the game—became a catalyst for refusing to diminish herself for others' comfort. What makes Annette's story particularly relatable is her honesty about the difference between personal and professional advocacy. While she learned to speak up in relationships relatively quickly, advocating for herself at work—asking for raises, setting boundaries, declining extra responsibilities—required more time and external support. Her husband's coaching on professional communication and her intentional effort to create psychological safety for her team demonstrates how advocacy can be both learned and taught. Perhaps most importantly, Annette reminds us that this work requires "continuous improvement" rather than perfection. Self-advocacy isn't about becoming a different person; it's about becoming more authentic to who you already are and refusing to apologize for taking up the space you deserve.

Post-Tea Pursuits: PRACTICE AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION this week.

Inspired by Annette's journey, take 15 minutes to reflect on your advocacy skills:

• Identify one area where you've been "pretending to like" something to please others
• Think of a situation where you need to speak up but have been hesitating - what's holding you back?
• Consider the difference between how you advocate in personal vs. professional settings

Commit to one act of authentic self-advocacy this week. Maybe it's saying no to plans you don't actually want, asking for what you need in a relationship, or having that conversation with your boss about role clarity. Remember Annette's wisdom: it's a slow roll, not a fast one. Progress over perfection, and continuous improvement is the goal. WRITE DOWN how it feels to speak your truth without apology!